My Life = School

I should be sleeping, but my brain won’t let me. It’s frustrating, because right now is when I need sleep the most.

So, I rode a bike again. It was AWESOME. It was only for about 10 minutes, in circles, in red square, really slowly, but I am still giddy about it, and am trying to build up my legs so I could potentially go on a real bike ride soon! I also have a killer cane now, and can walk quite a bit faster.

I recently applied for a second major in Art History. I don’t really know where I am going with it, but it seems like fun, will keep me in one place for another 6 months or so, and is doable. I actually got the okay from my adviser, when I was convinced she would tell me that it was a silly idea. I am hoping to really tie Film Studies and Art together, and I think with the help from an English Professor into art, and an Art History Professor into film, that it should work out pretty well.

I am currently writing a pretty big essay about Tim Burton and his relationship to German Expressionism. In the essay I end up talking about the Gothic and the sublime, as well as Goya… Which my Professor was actually into, he told me to add some images of paintings, and go a little more in depth. So it’s already working out really well. =D

I recently signed up for classes, and am incredibly excited. I am taking Trash Cinema, Culture and Politics of Desire, and Installation Art. Trash Cinema is about the aesthetics and appeal of cult films (among other things), Culture and Politics of Desire is about Cyber Culture and the visual culture associated with that, and then of course Installation Art is Installation art. I am hoping to do some video work for it. We shall see how that goes.

Anyway, while most of you readers already know all of this stuff, I just thought I would share my excitement, again. Because I am sleepy. And that is what I do.

New Classes, Responsibility, and Recovery

So this quarter is looking pretty good so far. I had a pretty bad week (so many things went wrong, it was ridiculous.), but for some reason I suddenly felt optimistic after my most difficult class. It was awesome, I knew things, actually volunteered information, and got to say a little about Creative Commons. This quarter I am taking Intro to Film Studies (Which I am feeling like I am going to be a tad bored in, but it’s for the minor, Kaveh is teaching it, and I get to feel all knowledgeable and stuff.), Recycled Cinema (Writing proficiency class, 400 level, skipped the pre-reqs, balls, etc. But also taught by Kaveh. =D) and Intro to Sculpture (Teacher seems like he’s more into experimental work, which could be pretty interesting.).

I’ve been told of most of our assignments in my film classes, and I am pretty damn excited. In Intro, there are a couple basic essays and tests, not very interesting, but I am presenting on “The Death of Cinema,” which I have taken to mean (I could be entirely wrong), the change from the old cinematic traditions to the new technologies, such as digital video, viewing movies on I-pods, and the rising popularity of the DIY film culture (Youtube).

In Recycled Film, we have three big projects. The first is a “recycling project”, where we have to create something out of old film material. It can be in any media, even writing, but I am going to try to make a found-footage piece entirely from Creative Commons. I’ve wanted to try something like this for a long time, but have never had any real reason or motivation. Our second project is a 20 minute class presentation and I have to lead a discussion. The topic I got was “Film and Museums.” This is pretty exciting because I potentially get to talk about more artsy stuff, such as video art, and installation, as well as actual film archives. The last assignment is a 10-12 page essay on a topic of our choice. I haven’t officially decided yet, but I am thinking that I would like to write something about how Tim Burton appropriated everything he has ever done from German Expressionism and early Vincent Price films.

Besides the classes, though, I have been feeling a little weird in general. I have been at my parents for 3 months, so being responsible for myself is a strange change. For a while feeding myself was very difficult, and I didn’t really eat anything for a couple days there. Also, having to drive myself everywhere, and having to do adult things is intimidating sometimes. Living alone is also kind of lonely, since I am used to living in a loud house with many other people. I think I will adjust to it, though, especially once I get busy with school work.

And then there is the recovery. My leg is actually doing quite well. I can put about 50 lbs on it, which was quite a bit at first, but I feel like I go over that sometimes, accidentally. I am going up to Harborview next week, and will hopefully get full weight bearing privileges. Then I can start swimming, and kicking ass. Also, it is looking more and more like a real leg, which is very exciting, it has a tiny bit of muscle growth. Unfortunately it still hurts. Sometimes worse than others…

Seeing Through Film

So, for those of you who do not know, I have a new project-blog-thingy. It’s called Seeing Through Film. (I am still not quite sure about the title.) I just made my first real post today. It’s about “The Valley of the Gwangi.”

I feel pretty good about it. I am not really sure what direction I want to go with on the blog, but I thought I’d just start experimenting. I have been studying German Expressionism for the longest time, and intend to write a post regarding that some point before school starts in January. But I am not sure when that will happen. I also don’t know when I am going to post next on it.

I originally thought that I wouldn’t post much on it during the school year, but since I am taking two film classes this coming quarter, I think I will try to incorporate those into the blog. It should be fun. Tell me what you think. =)

東京！

I am in Tokyo. It is amazing. This class I am taking is ridiculous, we are doing so many different things a day, that I am having a really hard time taking it all in. We wake up around 8 or 9, go out into Tokyo, walk around looking at different districts, and tourist attractions all day long, and then get back to the hotel between 9 and 11 each night. Then I try to spend time thinking about my art project, and writing in my journal. But I usually end up falling asleep immediately.

Since everyone I know wants a detailed description of my trip, I am going to attempt to blog about it in my little bit of free time. An entry per day seems decent, just because there is so much going on. (I will try to catch up, but I doubt it will happen.)

I am taking lots of pictures, and video. And I will be in some sort of art show sometime in August.

Can Not Sleep: Journals and Last Summer

I haven’t posted in a long time. I don’t know why. Sometimes I think it will be cool to blog. Then I realize that I don’t really have anything important to say, talking about myself the whole time and assuming the world wants to hear it is pretty egotistical, and people whom I don’t really want to share with read it… But whatever, I can’t sleep. So who cares? Why the hell am I posting this on the internet?

School is over. It’s weird. It’s been a day, and I already don’t know what to do with myself. I feel antsy, and bored, and unproductive (even though I spent all day editing a video. [Might be why I am restless.]). I was browsing through my journal (the one on paper), today, mainly looking at the hand writing. It’s pretty cool to see how it changes. There was one entry that really caught my eye. The hand writing started out all normal, and progressively got more and more crazy, until I could barely read it. The entry itself was really strange, too. It started out with saying that: I am happy now, I have realized where I’ve been going wrong the past year, I am interested in things again, and engage in fun activities. Then I started ranting about PSP boy next to me. Which lead to no hope for humanity. Then, why do I think I am so better than humanity? I am the same shit as them. I am a egocentric, elitist, miserable being.

I must say. It was odd.

But, it made me think about last summer, and the kind of flux I was in. While at times I felt pretty insane, I really enjoyed that feeling of not knowing what was going on, having no idea where I would end up next. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly happy right now. I am probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time, my life rocks pretty hard. But, while thinking about last summer, and not being sure if I was going to be in Bellingham very long, I miss it. I feel like I’ve settled for contentment, when I should be out, homeless, exploring the world, or living in NY, or SOMETHING exciting. That’s what youth is for, right? Fucking shit up?

But I do have some excitement. I am enjoying my life a lot right now. Yes, I did kind of settle for Bellingham, but that’s OK. I can’t really afford NY right now. I can still have fun and excitement in Bellingham. And if I want to, I can make myself feel fucked up. Intentionally not sleeping, or eating, or what have you… Maybe thats not the right way to go about it.

I am sick of taking care of myself well, I am sick of being happy and spoiled, fat and placid, secure, stable and sane. I am discontent with being content.

But hey, I’ll be in Japan in a month, that should help me with some of my summer restlessness.

Blood

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of something tearing. I had no idea what it was, and I felt something wet dripping onto me. I listened very carefully, and while I lived in the dorms, everything was very quite, except for a very faint, sickening ripping noise. My eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light coming in through the window. I could see dark patches on the bottom of the bunk above me, and that dark something was dripping from the mattress. I moved slowly to see it better, and the noise stopped. I immediately stopped moving. I knew, as if someone were telling me, that if I made any noise, if I moved a centimeter, I would be next.

The sound became louder, there were faint, pained grunts. I dared not move, but I felt needed to help whoever was up there. I was convinced it was someone I knew. Suddenly, a large object was shifted, and an arm swung over the side of the bed. It was covered in blood, with large gashes along it, stitched back together with thick, black string. I shrunk further into my bed, and wanted to scream, but I could not. It would come for me next.

There was more tearing. At that moment I knew that it was my friend up there. My friends sliced arm. I also knew there was someone else up on that bunk, someone besides the monster. I knew that it was cutting them open. Removing parts. Sewing them back together.

I couldn’t move.

Again, something shifted. There was more cutting. A body was pushed to the edge, his arms and head flopped over the side. Eyes rolled back into his head, mouth wide open in a scream of terror. Stiff.

I screamed.

Stop Motion: BEFORE it was cool

Norman McLaren, is a genius. I was introduced to him through this:

From what I have seen, most of his work is not live action. Many of his pieces are made up of, or include, images drawn directly onto the 35mm film. He uses computer-like sounds for music, which were actually created by being scratched or painted on to the soundtrack area of the film.

His body of work is so diverse, too. His student animations drawn onto film (Boogie Doodle, Fiddle Dee Dee, etc.), mixes of live action and stop-motion (Neighbors, A Chairy Tale), even lightboard displays in NYC, amoung many other things. He seems to draw a lot of inspiration from music and ballet (Pas de Deux Pt. I & Pt. II). There is far too many to choose from to share it all on here, so I will post one more, a surreal animation, and then you should go look him up on your own on YouTube.

Now, I really don’t know a whole lot about him, but I find him incredibly interesting, and I want to learn more about him. I really want to see more of his work, too. He has a couple collections of shorts on dvd, and a lot of his work is on YouTube. I’ll tell you more, when I know more.